This week, let’s focus on the disciplinary issues that likely cropped up during the joint raising of the child only a demon could love. Certainly some conflict arises when it comes to punishing Viscar (Vigo-Oscar) for domestic transgressions. For the sake of argument, let’s say that at some point during the day, Janosz excuses himself from baby-watching to rummage through Dana’s clothes closet while she’s at work, indulging in the newfound love for cross-dressing.
Upon Janosz’ re-emergence from the bedroom as a chic, fabulous-looking henchman, he finds that Viscar has colored the walls of Dana’s apartment to create a portrait of himself sitting on a Throne of Blood in a Castle of Pain (there wasn’t enough crayon left for the Mountain of Skulls).
For any parent, these would be trying circumstances indeed. But if you were Janosz, would you punish Viscar, or congratulate him on his little triumph of evil doing? If you had already adopted a policy of encouraging your son towards pro-world domination (which would at least spare you the financial stress of having to one day pay for his college education), then punishing him for this would probably be a bit like chastising a young Alicia Keys for singing too well in the shower. Sure it’s a transgression, but reinforcing it negatively could potentially confound Viscar’s destiny. On the other hand, what if Viscar does something like pee in the dishwasher? Janosz probably shouldn’t view it as a sign of great, magical things to come- that’s just a kid being a straight-up s**t.
So then….how to punish Viscar? I sense that in his former life, this man was something of a sadomasochist, what with the whole ‘genocidal maniac’ thing. Spanking him would probably be little more than a congratulatory gesture in this case. Instead, perhaps Janosz could show Viscar the movie ‘Valentine’s Day’ on repeat for the entire afternoon- subjecting him to the sappiest, most painfully awful movie to emerge from the crusty a**hole of Hollywood filmmaking in decades.
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